An interesting idea. Supposed to show you authors you would enjoy reading if you enjoy reading the one you enter.
An interesting idea. Supposed to show you authors you would enjoy reading if you enjoy reading the one you enter.
Listening to Canned Heat insipired this mini story. I am by no means a dancer. My moves resemble an epileptic seizure. Apologies to epileptics.
Shawn was sad.
“So many people were happy when I danced. My dancing made me forget. Others forgot too.”
The police removed Shawn from his apartment that evening…
Here’s the latest book I’m excited to read.
I have my copy for the Nook (first download of release day?) and it’s the next book I’m reading. Steven has several ways you can purchase Chain of Shadows, such as:
He also has a cool contest over at Bloodskies.com to win a cool Chain of Shadows mug. Check it out!
“Pawns? Like in chess?”
“Exactly like chess. Expendable.”
“My pawns usually take out the queen.”
The barrier between worlds has been broken, and the invasion is about to begin.
Eric Cross, burdened by the loss of those who’ve died under his command, must lead his recently reunited mercenary team against the shadow wolf sorcerers known as the Maloj. Bound to dire artifact blades and charged with protecting the Kindred, Cross seeks help from the enigmatic White Mother, leader of the Southern Claw.
But sinister forces bring his vessel down in a strange and distant land, and soon Cross and his allies are beset by undead armies vying for control of the deadly region called the Chain of Shadows. Trapped in a desert waste where wielding magic is dangerous and nothing is as it seems, Cross’s team will pay the ultimate price in their battle to finally get home…
Return to the world After the Black in this pivotal 6th book of the BLOOD SKIES saga!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Steven Montano keeps writing novels in the hopes that one day he’ll wake up and actually feel like a real author. Maybe it’ll happen tomorrow.
Steven is the author of City of Scars, the Blood Skies novels (Blood Skies, Black Scars, Soulrazor, Crown of Ash, The Witch’s Eye and Chain of Shadows), Tales of a Blood Earth 1 and 2, and something black…. He’s currently hard at work on Blood Angel Rising, a horror novel; Vampire Down, the next installment of the Blood Skies series; and Path of Bones and The Black Tower, the sequels to City of Scars.
He lives in Washington State with his beautiful and intelligent wife, two beautiful and talented children, and a backyard badly in need of some love.
Visit Steven’s official website http://bloodskies.com/
It’s hard to admit wrongdoing especially when the consequences are so steep. I’ve been wrong for so long, I should have stopped my wrongdoing a long time ago. A lot of heartbreak could have been avoided. I’ve hurt more than just my wife. I’ve hurt my children. I’ve hurt my family and that’s inexcusable.
I’ve been given so many second chances at this, at least 16, but I kept doing stupid hurtful bullshit.
I’ve mistreated my wife, Susan, for a very long time. She had deserved none of this. She chose to marry me and I should have done everything possible to show her as much love as possible. But I haven’t and there is no excuse for what I have done. I love her deeply but I haven’t shown her. All I’ve done is display a selfish self interest and given empty promises.
I’ve abused her – physically, emotionally, mentally, through dishonesty, by not doing what I needed to do to be the best husband possible and so much more. Instead of truth I’ve given her lies. Instead of love I’ve given her hate. Instead of support I’ve given her grief. You’d think after what my mom went through with my dad, I’d do everything I could to break that cycle. But I didn’t. And now my choices are really hurting our children.
I’m despicable. I’m dishonest. I’m selfish. I’m lazy. I could blame my childhood, I’ve led since I was 7 or 8, but it all falls on me. I’m to blame and there’s no excuse. I’ve been addicted to pornography and lied about it. That’s what an addict does. That’s still no excuse. All of that time wasted. 20+ years for a quick thrill. Pathetic. For that alone I don’t deserve to be with my family. I don’t deserve to start their joy, their happiness.
At the point in my life where I think I finally have my shit together and I can be the husband and father I need to be, I fall flat on my face. Now I’m only making things worse. I’m trying hard now but I should have tried hard then. It’s easier to do it right the first than to try to fix it later. Is easier to be truthful than to lie, even if the consequences are unpleasant. I’m a do it easy kind of guy. Why couldn’t I have done it right on the first place. I lied about stupid trivial stuff but it wasn’t so trivial after all was it?
Telling the truth should be the easiest thing in the world. Even when the truth is hard it should be what comes out. I accept the result of my choices. But it isn’t about me. Is about what I’ve done and what that does to others. My stupidity comes at a high cost. And I get selfish hoping it can be repaired and that we can be a family again.
I love my wife very much. I love my children. It breaks my heart that I’ve been so bad to her for so long. It destroys the little pieces I have left to see what is doing to our son and daughter. I weep when I think our unborn child will grow up without me in its life. I want them to have it better than I’ve given. They all, Sue included, deserve better than I’ve given. I haven’t shown it but I love them very much.
When I came back home, I prayed every night that we can be a family again. Now I pray that Sue can be happy and that our children can have normal lives, even if that means I’m not in the picture. Again I feel selfish, wanting to be back in this family though I don’t deserve it.
I know there’s no way to prove this except by my actions. I have to show.
No matter how much I kid myself, I’m not a writer. I’m not even a decent human being. This isn’t a pity party; any pity comments will be rejected. What this is is a way for me to express what I’m thinking. We have to do that sometimes or all the stuff that builds up just makes us explode or tour from the inside out. Which might be too last for me on the rotting part.
We, most of us, strive to improve. Were move through life looking to better ourselves, the lives of others if we’re married and possibly have children, our communities. My condition isn’t important for this writing. It applies to us all.
They are things we can do, and do, just to get by. This is lazy thinking. Just like lying, the more you skate by, the worse it gets. Defeat is not a proper mindset. Defeat does not lead to success or happiness. Defeat will never get you what you want to be. The only thing defeat is good for is to get your lazy butt up for success. Learn from your loss and make sure you don’t make the same mistake twice. I’m in the repeater club and there’s morning fun about it. You only get so many chances before your last. It’s that last one that hurts the worst. Most of the time you deserve it if you don’t learn.
There isn’t always a right answer. With the exception of tried and true, you sometimes have to make your own path. As it is with writing, there’s not a guide book or map to guide you to the X. Others can give you advice. You can try to mimic what has worked in the past. At some point you will fail because the rules will change or the field will shift or someone comes along who is better and has their shit figured out. Prepare for failure. Plan for success. Sometimes you can’t plan. Sometimes you just have to grab the steering wheel and hope the black ice ends before you crash. Most often you will crash. What you do next is important. This is where you keep going.
Look at what you did wrong. Feedback is important when others are involved. When it comes to love, do it for love. Love your partner. Love your family. Don’t just shrug and give up. Fight for what you want. Fight for what your partner wants. Do it for love.
As much as we think we improve, that bar is still above our reach. If we could grasp easily, it wouldn’t be worth grabbing. There are things we can do to make life easier. These aren’t always the same. Some people have easy marriages. Not everything about it is easy but the love working together makes the burdens lighter.
When you think things are good and okay is usually the time when you need to push for more improvement. Don’t be fooled that you’re past the finish line and the race is over. Complacency is what most of us fail, me especially. I get so full of paying myself on the back that I get miles behind. I try to live as though nothing should bother me and that’s where I lose. I let too much go.
One of my favorite sayings is: you can’t control what anyone else does but you can control what you do. This can be extended to you can control how you act and react. Not everything merits action. Not everything merits reaction. But how you do makes the most difference in your life and possibly that of others. You can make an example or you can have one made of you. When life continues to shit on you, you can rise up. Sometimes this requires action, sometimes reaction. Either way don’t become lax.
You need to be the best at what you do. It can be as simple as being the best garbage technician or as complicated as being the best neuro-rocket-physicist. Be the best you can be. Don’t settle with second place. There’s always someone better than you.
My fear, especially right now, is that I’ve blown my chance to be the best. Frankly, I wouldn’t hire myself to do what I’m failing at right now. I would choose someone else like that *snap* and wouldn’t think twice. I don’t deserve to be where I’m at. I’m a disgrace. I’m worthless. I don’t deserve the people in my life. And all because I thought I was doing enough. All because I didn’t want to make someone mad. All because I couldn’t man up and do it right.
And it could cost me everything. Don’t get me wrong. I will survive. But I’ve put myself and others in a place where we shouldn’t be. Things will get worse. And they will continue to worsen I’d I remain complacent. I need to man up. I need to make the tough choice. I need to do what’s right even if I lose. If you want something bad enough you must, MUST, fight for it. Lay down and die is for losers. Writing is for losers. Divorce is for two people who don’t care anymore and it only ends up hurting the children. Suicide hurts more people than you know and never hurts those who make your life miserable. It’s true we must learn from failure but failure is not an option here.
If you care enough, and you must, you will fight to win. With any choice, there is cause and effect. Be sure you’re ready for the consequences. Lying to someone because they won’t like the truth is a poor excuse. Man up, tell the truth, and deal with it. This is something else I’ve struggled with. Truth should be easy. It’s already there. Lies take more work and cause more damage. Lies destroy.
Cherish your memories. You don’t know when that will be all you have. Memories will reveal what you love the most, especially when what you love most is gone. Love each other even in your imperfections. Nobody is perfect. No one will ever be perfect. But you have to do your best for one another. Sickness and health. Richer and poorer. In good times and bad.
If you care enough, and you must, you will fight for that love. 100%
Victorious living...by faith - (Romans 1:17)
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Speculative fiction author, science fiction and fantasy fan, accidental horror writer, Shirley Jackson Award winner.
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